A visitor to Matisse’s studio saw a painting of a vase of flowers on the wall and commented that Matisse must have been very happy when he painted it. “No, madam,” Matisse reportedly said. “I was in the darkest despair."
All good paintings are about something, but to be art they must contain ideas. The ideas are the difference between empty renderings and paintings that endure. Viewers know this – the visitor saw happiness even before she saw flowers. But when do artists see the ideas within their subjects? Matisse, from a near suicidal state, painted joy. Did he know this? Was it all intuitive? Was he aware of the joy only after the visitor pointed it out? When do artists take charge and shape the ideas that will become the true beauty of their paintings? Or do they?
I am in a very dark place now. The bleeding that hospitalized me two weeks ago could reoccur any time. The doctors are working on that and have planned a series of surgical procedures for me, the first being tomorrow. That by itself is scary enough, yet more terrifying for me is their initial diagnosis for the cause of the bleeding. It's tentative, they say; more tests are needed they say; and yet, if their first call about why I lost the blood is right, then I am quite ill.
Despite my fear, I find myself these recent days drawn to subjects of joy. My own vase with flowers above, with its simple shapes and flat colors, looks to me like the laughter of a child. From my own playful impulse I begin to understand why Matisse created such a bright painting during his darkest hour. The reality of his life was unimportant, only his yearnings for it. A true painter paints not facts, but dreams; not truth, but hope.
Above: Vase with Flowers, acrylic on canvas, 12x24 inches. Copyright 2009 ptw.
